Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Great Name Debate

The name of our son, whose arrival is imminent, has been decided: Esp*n Joshua Buhl.The only problem is that one small detail that we cannot agree on: the last vowel in his first name. I'm pushing for Espen, but Christian is adamant about Espyn.

I first encountered the name Espen in graduate school. A fellow classmate, married to a Norwegian, named her son this. The name struck me, and I've liked it ever since. I like how it's unusual, but not totally unheard of (at least, not unheard of in Scandinavian countries). For me, it evokes the trendiness of names like Ethan and Aiden while maintaining originality.

It also brings to mind the word aspen, a tree (and a city) found in the western United States, which will always carry special significance for me since I spent the first several years of my marriage beyond the continental divide. The meaning, "bear of God," seems pretty cool, too. I didn't think much about the similarity to the sports network ESPN until Christian told me that's what all his coworkers mentioned when they heard it. Granted, Christian works on a college football video game, so a sports link is unavoidable.

My reasons for wanting to keep the original spelling, Espen:
  1. Names with alternate spellings have always bothered me.
  2. The name Espen is already fairly unusual. Why make it more so by changing the spelling?
  3. The "-yn" ending is often found on feminine names.
  4. Googling espen yields actual men with this name. Googling espyn yields girl's myspace pages and the like.
Christian's reasons, as far as I can discern, for wanting to use the alternate spelling, Espyn:
  1. For Christian, the more unusual and unique, the better (hence the name of our daughter, Eowyn).
  2. Using "-yn" links it to Eowyn's name, which Christian thinks would be cool.
When I was shopping for wooden letters to paint and hang in Esp*n's room, Wal-mart had only one "E" available. They've been sold out ever since (that was a month and a half ago). Christian takes this as a sign of fate. As for me, I don't want to name our son based on Wal-mart's inventory, or because we're too lazy to buy another "E" and paint it.

We're both standing our ground on this. But the moment is fast approaching when we must finally decide.

19 comments:

  1. I definitely vote for the second "e." I think anyone who saw it with a y would assume he was a girl, and his whole life he'd get letters to "Ms. Espyn Buhl." Plus, it is more like aspen, which you like, and your arguments seem better than Christian's. Stick your ground, Laura!

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  2. I have a slight preference for the "e". Though I wouldn't have picked up on the Gaelic feminine ending, I do think it looks better with the "e". Purely an aesthetic judgment.

    Also, you should scout other Wallyworlds by phone or in person to remove the inertia building behind only having a "y" to hang on the wall.

    Is there anyway you can compromise? Let him spell the middle name with a "y" (Yeshua? Jyshua?)? Add a second middle name of his choosing (Kermit, anyone?)? Could you buy him off by cooking only his favorite foods for the next month or something (or vice versa, Christian!)?

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  3. Hmm, I did cook a giant batch of swedish meatballs the other night, his personal favorite. That ought to count for something!

    I agree that the "e" just looks better.

    Anna's been helping out by scouting for another wooden "E" for me when she goes to Wal-Mart, since I don't actually go there that often.

    I had decided I've got to stick my ground, as Erin said. That's why there is still no consensus. Normally I'm a pushover when it comes to Christian's opinion (though he wouldn't say so), and would have given in by now.

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  4. Wow, Laura! I had no preference for the spelling before I read this post, but you changed my mind! Your points are very legit, particularly the girls/guys spelling one.
    I say you should choose, based on your excellent points and the fact that your body has done all the work of bringing little Espen into the world :) (sorry Christian!)

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  5. Good point, Kelly! Forming the little guy in my womb should give me some added weight in the debate. Well, it gives me added weight regardless... :-P

    To Christian's credit, he did say that when our little boy is born, he will love him and his name, whatever that name may be, as soon as it is on the birth certificate because that is "who he will be." It wasn't exactly a concession to my preferred spelling, but it's close.

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  6. Excellent points, Laura. By the power vested in me by the fact that I might be teaching Rhetoric next year, you win!

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  7. I think Laura failed to completely articulate the reasons why I want the "Y".

    One of the main reasons is that I want to call him "Spynny" as a nickname. If his name is Espen, I'd have to call him "Spenny", and that's just dumb.

    Second of all, it would be totally cool if our kids names had so many similar letters in the same places - E??YN". That's a bond they would share their entire life, and Laura wants to take it away from them before Espyn is even born.

    Third, if each letter in his name only appears once, then we can spell his name entirely with those sets of letters that kids get as toys, like magnet letters or whatnot. If we spell it with the second "E", we won't be able to spell cute things in magent letters on the fridge.

    Finally, I think that it's only fair that while I got to pick Eowyn's name, that she got to pick the spelling (I wanted to spell it with an accent like it is in the books - Éowyn). Since Laura picked the name Espyn, I think I should get to pick the spelling.

    The only real drawback I can think of to "Espyn" is that it might make it difficult for him to become a secret agent, since he has the word "spy" in the middle of his name, and that would probably make people suspicious when he's infiltrating their secret lairs. On the other hand, infiltrating secret lairs is probably pretty dangerous, so it's probably just as well that he can't become a secret agent.

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  8. Also, when I google Espyn, I find as many or more (actual) uses of it as a boys name than a girls name.

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  9. Christian, it's hard to believe some of those reasons are for real. So many of them are just silly. So what if we can't spell his name with magnets? Big deal. And you can still call him Spynny if you want--you can call him whatever nickname you want, that's what makes it a nickname!

    And, I don't recall that you actually seriously wanted to spell Eowyn's name with an accent. It was something you mentioned in passing, but it was never something I remember having to object strongly to, so I don't think that's a fair point. I thought you had agreed it would be more trouble to have an accent than it's worth.

    The *only* drawback you can think of is that he couldn't become a spy?

    You have got to be kidding me.

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  10. As someone who has lived her whole life with a double lettered name, I think you should spell it with an 'e'. I've never felt as though a part of my childhood was missing when I couldn't spell cool words on the fridge since all the 'r's were taken.

    Plus, spelling his name Espen is easier to write and since we all know he will be one of the greats in life, and will most likely be signing his name quite a bit (whether it be in a doctor's office or at book signings), having a name that flows as you write will help his fingers, hand, forearm, and shoulder. So really, you're saving your son from physical pain by keeping the 'e.'

    But that's just my opinon... ;)

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  11. Thanks for the support, Carrie!

    I asked Christian if the spelling will be up to whoever gets hold of the birth certificate form first. He said perhaps--which doesn't leave good prospects for me, since I will have just given birth and all...

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  12. Christian can't be serious about his reasons! Those are probably the stupidest reasons I have heard for picking a name ever! He's just joking, right? He's being so ridiculous!

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  13. By the way, "Richard" is actually Meredith cuz I can't remember my google account name!

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  14. You all are retarded! When you Google Espyn or Espen... it brings up "Did you mean ESPN" which is what i am going to call him. Madden and ESPN can then get together and do sports shows.

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  15. Josh, the response I want to make to your comment isn't polite for company.

    So I'll refrain.

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  16. oh wait i forgot... i am going to call him Smeagol

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  17. SMEAGOL!!! Bwahahahaha! Okay... *wipes tear* but no...

    Espen. I vote for Espen. I appreciate Christian's arguments, mostly because several of them made me laugh out loud... but seriously, Espen. It's darn near unanimous and I know Christian is a good sport and will accept his defeat in this matter with grace. *wink* I'm looking forward to baby Espen! C'mon little guy!

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  19. Having weighed the arguments, I think titankt nicely summed up the proper conclusion.

    Christian, concede this minor point to your loving wife who is carrying your child and who will bear the greater burden of caring for him, but spell and pronounce the nickname however you want. Besides, if you say "Spenny" fast, it sounds like "Spynny".

    PS, A tangentially relevant link from the "fail blog":

    http://failblog.org/2009/02/06/baby-name-fail/

    Don't let the absurdity of someone apparently naming a girl with an actual TV network name influence you about your own baby. Espen is a great name!

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