Having listened to many, many holiday carols this past Christmas season, I can tell you my all-time least favorite song: "The Christmas Shoes" by Newsong.
Picture this: a group of down-on-their luck holiday carol writers, giddy from an excess of spiked egg nog, lament their lack of a holiday hit. "We've lost too much market share to songs with actual meaning!" says one. "How about this idea?" offers another. "Let's create a song that pulls together every sentimental cliche we can think of. It will be so emotionally manipulative, it's sure to reel 'em in!" And lo, "The Christmas Shoes" was born.
This song features a young, penniless, soon-to-be orphaned boy trying to buy a Christmas gift for his mother, who lies on her deathbed and is sure to "meet Jesus tonight." And what does the boy want to buy for his mother, you ask? Why, a pair of shoes, of course! Having pretty shoes is important to Jesus, apparently. Naturally, the singer offers to pay for the boy's purchase, teaching us all an important lesson about the true meaning of Christmas...which is what, exactly? I certainly hope it's not "leave your dying mother alone so you can beg others to buy stuff she doesn't need."
In case your heartstrings are not sufficiently tugged by the song, be sure to check out the novelization and the made-for-TV movie.
You may ask, what is my favorite Christmas song? Well, near the top of the list is "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch."
