Believe it

My house is immaculately clean--you won't find weeks-old mystery spots on my floors. No dust blankets my shelves, and there are no decrepit food crumbs attracting bugs in cracks and corners. Each one of my closets, cabinets and drawers is scrupulously organized. The paint colors in my house work perfectly with my carefully chosen furnishings and wall-hangings. I maintain a full-fledged vegetable and herb garden, from which I regularly prepare delicious, healthy meals. I never eat half a pepperoni pizza in one sitting. I love all of the clothes in my closet. I regularly get pedicures. I never have Eowyn watch TV for an afternoon because I'm too tired to give her my full attention.

None of the above statements are true. (*sigh*)