The weekend before last, I attended the UPC women's retreat. This was my first time away from Eowyn overnight, and I was struck by a surprising sadness in the days leading up to the retreat. I was startled to realize just how much I would miss her, and how much I worried whether Christian would feed her well, change her diaper enough, pay her enough attention and get her to sleep without too much trouble. I cried a fair amount! When it came time to leave, I choked up again. Fortunately, gabbing with the other girls in the carpool helped distract me quickly.
I was under the misconception I would get more sleep while on the retreat. Instead, I struggled with a bout of insomnia and found myself listening for Eowyn's cry in my sleep even though she was nowhere near. Still, spending time away, completely free of responsibility for her, was quite nice. Chatting with other adult women without distractions was amazingly refreshing.
As it turns out, Eowyn survived just fine without me. I'm not as indispensable as I believed. She ate and slept peachy for Christian. She didn't mope or otherwise appear to notice much that I was gone. And that's...really...great...hmph.
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Oh yeah... I remember that. Don't worry. Before you know it, and for sure after your next is born... you'll be all "I wonder if that stranger in the parking lot could watch the kids for me so I can have two freakin' seconds of peace and quiet!" In the meantime... it's a good thing if you don't value privacy too much because odds are you won't be taking any showers or using the bathroom by yourself for a few years to come.
ReplyDeleteIt's great, though. It's not mass insanity... there's a good reason why we all do it and you know what it is.